What I am working on this summer

First priority is to get things in order for homeschooling. I had all my curricula sent here so I could organize it and do my lesson plans. Here are my goals in this area:

Send off letter of intent to home school

Make lesson plans-I still need to pick a planner! Any recommendations?

Make a prayer binder (with pictures of people for whom we need to pray)

Make cookie sheet magnetic activity

Make felt board activity

Make Velcro activity board

Second would be to do some of my crafts while I am here at my parent's house. My goals, roughly in order of priority, as far as these projects go are:

Finish Isaac's stocking

Make 2 pillowcase totes for gifts

Make 3 lap desks for my kids in the car on our long drive up to Maryland from Texas

I don't know how realistic these goals are, but I plan to do what I can during nap times and bedtimes. Isaac's stocking is getting closer to being finished, but it still has many evenings worth of work. The lesson plans will be time comsuming as well since this is my first time doing it and I am such a perfectionist that it is paralyzing me in this area right now.

Beach Trip Photos

By day three, they had cleared the piles of seaweed enough to have some room to play in the sand. The wind died down a bit and the tide went out a little. With the wind lessening, the mosquitoes were more of a problem, but I had my handy Avon Skin So Soft with Picaridin that worked like a charm to keep them off us. However, the wind was still enough to blow the bug spray into Hannah's eyes when she walked by as someone was spraying it. Trauma and drama. Apparently our family can't go a day without it.

The men

All of us

The women

Sunday, after an early Mass, we drove seven or so hours to my parent's house, and here we shall stay for a little while. Brian will be heading back to Maryland soon to forge the trail for us a bit and, hopefully, get our car and shipped goods before we all descend upon the house.

Life Goes On

So the timing of our first ever family vacation to the beach with my parents and all of my siblings and theirs spouses wasn't the best as it turns out. Thursday we were all supposed to meet up at the Corpus Christi Islandhouse where we had rented two condos. Well, we all made it eventually; some through torrential downpours from the tropical storm and others (my mom and I) after a loooong trip to the ER. I had some complications with the miscarriage and ended up having to have a minor procedure just shy of a D&C on that day.

Day two didn't start out so well since the tide was way up, the waves were massive, and the seaweed covered what little beach was left. We had to dig ourselves out a plot of sand for the kiddies to play in. Plus, I was now banned from the water and had to sit on the beach and "take it easy" while everyone else jumped in the waves and went on walks. I was sure I had jinxed the whole trip. But as the day progressed things improved significantly. As I sat there in my beach chair in front of the beautiful ocean listening to the waves, I watched with my tears hiding behind over-sized sunglasses my son play in the sand with my brother and sister-in-law, Hannah and her daddy hunting for seashells, and Genevieve twirling like a ballerina in the waves with my mom and dad. Through all the joy I feel in my heart for them and their unequivocal uniqueness, I couldn't help but wonder what the baby I lost would have been if he or she had lived. Would she have been a "trash into treasure" kind of girl like Hannah who makes seaweed into something wonderful and useful? Would he have been content to build sand castles and drive trucks through the sand like Isaac, a little afraid of the big, crashing waves? Or would she have been a free spirit like Genna who dances and sings to her heart's content without a care in the world for who sees her? I decided he or she would have been none of those things, but something completely special and unparalleled. I have to remind myself that someday I will find out. I will meet my Sweet Pea's soul in heaven. And then I will know my child.

A Hard Good-bye

We've had a lot of good-byes this summer. And I am afraid the hardest of them all was just this weekend when we had to say good-bye to our unborn child. Our dear Sweat Pea who was due to enter the world on February 6th, 2011 is now with our heavenly Father.

As for what happened, Friday I had an ultrasound and we could not see a baby. Only the amniotic sac was present. The doctor told me that either my dates were wrong and I wasn't 8 weeks along and the baby was too small to see (which was very unlikely) or it was a blighted ovum pregnancy. A blighted ovum is where the baby isn't able to develop at a very early stage because of chromosomal abnormalities. The sac develops and the body thinks it is still pregnant for a while because of the hormones being produced from the sac. Eventually, your body figures out that the baby is already gone and you complete the process of miscarriage. I miscarried on Saturday night and it was confirmed by the doctor Monday.

I am heartbroken. I have been planning for this baby, dreaming of this baby, thinking of names for this baby and now my baby isn't with me any longer. It is strange how you can miss someone you've never even seen. How he or she could leave a hole behind. I am trying to begin to heal now, emotionally and physically. I had no idea how physically traumatic a natural miscarriage could be to your body. I expected the emotional effects, but I am remembering God's blessings all the time. My three healthy beautiful children that are still with me are a huge comfort to me and they don't even know it. I can't help but smile when Isaac asks me to cuddle with him or Genna says she wants to be together with me always or Hannah colors me a stack of pictures before I leave the house without her. And I need those smiles. I am embracing the joy from those smiles.

I am trusting my merciful God and resting in His comfort.

I am taking things one step at a time with His strength.

I am hoping for our family to grow in His good timing.

I am not doing any of these things perfectly.

Good-bye Sweat Pea. I love you.

Happy Fourth of July

God bless America!

Hannah's Monkey Business

I may have mentioned before that Hannah has always been a picky dresser. She doesn't like tennis shoes, leggings, puffy coats, sweaters, jeans or other button down pants. The list goes on. I can't keep up and I don't try to. She has to wear what I pick out for her and if she complains there are consequences. All this is to set up the scene for my story here.

Hannah wanted to change into her jammies at about 5pm because her sister got to change pants due to an accident. They were button down pants that she didn't like. We had people coming over and I wanted her to wait until later to change. Rejected, she then asked to play dress up. I agreed if she would get dressed again before the guests arrived. When the time came to get dressed she asked where her jammies were because she claimed that her pants were too wet with dog slobber. I told her to bring them to me so I could check them. Here's where this mundane story gets interesting. She brings them to me and they are soaked. Soaked beyond dog slobber capabilities. Because my little girl is so much like me I knew instantly what had happened. Yes, that's right, she put them in the sink to make sure I would say that she didn't have to wear them. Unfortunately, she was caught and received a punishment in addition to having to wear the wet pants through dinner. She sat in front of the fan trying to dry them off until she fell asleep.

I have got to hand it to her, she is creative. I love my Hannah so much, faults and all.

Cousin Buddies

They are growing and changing a lot since the last time the boys were together back in October of '09. I count it a blessing to have these guys be so close in age.