Thursday, July 4, 2013

Fourth of July Memory

We have a busy day planned today with swimming lessons and dinner and fireworks with friends, but I just woke up this morning thinking of Lillian and how I can't let this day pass without remembering her.  I was thinking of Speck and how he is now my almost two year old Drew with a chin that kills me and mannerisms that keep us all in stitches, talking and understanding more everyday.  Here I sit with Tad moving all over the place in my belly, and I wonder what he will be like as he grows up like Speck has.  I wonder this knowing I will most likely know the answers soon.  It just still hurts to think of how I will not know what kind of tiny human Lillian would have grown into, what distinguishing features or personality she would have had.  The sharp pain that so many are familiar with, the pain of loss, is only softened by the hope of one day meeting my child in heaven.

Love you, Lillian!  

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