Sunday, July 19, 2015

D + 1 = Uncomfortable Mama

I know I always forget the discomforts of pregnancy, but I would venture to say that this has been the most uncomfortable pregnancy for me probably because I am older.  I went shopping on my due date with my mom and daughters and my belly just aches when I am up and walking.  I haven't been doing my regular walking to get labor started because it just hurts too much and I have to stop to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.  I've walked my heart out during the last few weeks of carrying the baby with all my pregnancies except for Genna and she was the only one who came early so I was going with this strategy this time.  So far  it's not working for me though.

I could not even tell you how many times I had to answer, "Today," to the question, "When are you due?" from strangers yesterday.  I received a variety of comments while shopping that ranged from the standard, "You look like you're about to pop," or "Any day now, huh?" to "There's only one baby in there??!!!"  My personal favorite was when a lady told me my baby was "at least 10 or 11 lbs."  To that, I said, "Oh dear, I hope not 11 lbs!  That would be a new record for me."

I am ready for this little guy to make his appearance on the one hand because I am anxious to hold him and meet him face to face and am super uncomfortable.  I'm ready to be able to easily get up and down out of chairs and beds.  I'm ready not to be so out of breath all the time and not to have to wear these compression stockings any more.  I'm looking forward to wearing some of my regular clothes again sometime soonish.  However, I am not ever really ready to face the labor and delivery or to go to the hospital.  I don't like hospitals and this one I am very familiar with the L&D floor since this will be my third time delivering there.  I always try to convince myself that the hospital is this hotel that I am vacationing at where I don't have to cook and clean and be the "mom of many" 24 hours a day.  Somehow the nursing staff have yet to meet my expectations with all the needles missing the biggest veins they will ever see in their career, breaking my water, and hooking me up to machines despite their repeated offer to bring me ice chips or call the anesthesiologist.

Brian says I am like a paratrooper who is afraid to jump out of airplanes.  When it comes time for the babies to come out, no matter how many times I have done it before I get totally scared.  I resist and drag my heels the whole way, but when labor actually starts I just do what I need to do.  Suddenly I remember why this is what I was made to do.  The rush of holding my beautiful baby makes all the pain and fear I just went through immediately disappear.  That's Brian's favorite moment, seeing my pain turn instantly into awe-filled joy when they hand me my baby.  I love that moment too, and that's what I am trying to focus on each time fear creeps into my mind and heart.

In other news... Friday Isaac finished pre-team with his mini swim meet.  He is such a stronger swimmer than he was at the beginning of the summer.  I was very proud of him and how hard he pushed himself during the races.

Judah is not understanding the dethroning we are trying to prepare him for by getting out all the baby stuff.  He keeps insisting that he is still a baby and needs to be in the bassinet and infant car seat.  I keep telling him he is too big, but...

"See! I told you, Mom, I fit in here!"
Bobby's quilt embroidery is almost finished and so I just might get the whole blanket put together and completed by the time he gets here.  I don't have a doctor's appointment until Wednesday afternoon, and I just doubt anything serious happens before that.  There's always that possibility that I'll be crazy dilated and they won't let me leave the hospital from my appointment, but since Brian will not be in town during the week, I am going to try to talk them out of that so he has time to get here for a scheduled breaking of my water on Friday.  That's my plan, but you know how well the best laid plans tend to go.  So I will keep on updating daily if I am able to just in case my plans go awry. 

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Kelle, hang in there! I will pray for you extra this week. I am all too familiar with all of those comments and have the same anxiety approaching birth even though I have done it so many times. Keep focusing on that joy. It will be here soon. :)