I think developing an attention span in children starts from the time you bring them home from the hospital. I usually start reading to my babies by the time they are two weeks old before every nap and bed time (which is a lot of times during the day since they take so many naps at first.) They can't focus their eyes yet, but they can hear. I usually read poems and other things that have rhythm and rhyme. Habits form easily with newborns and they will come to expect and anticipate as they grow that story time always precedes sleeping. I have rarely had a time when my kids, at any age, wouldn't sit still for a book...pretty much any book. Story times at libraries or book stores over the years have shown me that not all children will sit still and listen to a book. I think this is why my children do sit in the middle of the chaos that is present at most story times I have been to.
The next thing I think is important to do from infancy is blanket time/pack-n-play time/room time. Babies who are constantly being entertained or held have a harder time with independent play as they get older. I know this because I made this mistake with my firstborn. Hannah took much longer to be capable of playing independently for an extended period of time because I held her a lot when she first came home from the hospital and responded to her every peep instead of helping her to learn to self sooth. Many first time moms make this same mistake which is why I think the first baby is usually the hardest. I realized my mistake around 2 months old and began to try to teach her to be alone. It is harder to undo a habit even as young as 2 months old than to develop good habits from the beginning. All of my kids have time each day to entertain themselves. Yes, most of their time is spent together, but I find this time apart is vital to developing their attention span and keeping the peace among siblings.
Another vital aspect of creating attention span is making sure your child is well rested. So many kids are overly tired these days. I can tell a difference in how my kids act when they have had a busy weekend and are overly tired. They can not focus as well, not to mention all the other discipline problems that arise when this happens.
The fourth thing that I have felt very strongly about since before my kids were born is the limiting of TV and video games. My general rule is no more than 30 minutes of TV a day. However, that is our maximum (with the exception of the occasional movie) and certainly not a quota. Often many days pass without the TV coming on while the children are awake, especially when there is good weather. My kids LOVE TV and movies, don't get me wrong, but there are plenty of things to fill our day with besides mindless TV. And as for video games, I am putting off introducing these as long as possible which is easier for me since my oldest are girls (I find boys have more of a natural affinity for video games,) and they are not exposed to it via friends at school since they are homeschooled. I think this also improves imagination in kids. Brian did not agree with me when Hannah was born on this issue, but he is now more of a proponent for it than I am. He is the first one to tell the kids they should go outside or read if they ask to watch TV.
The fifth thing that helps are having structured activities and crafts for them to do. The more often they complete activities and crafts the more they learn how to stay focused and pay attention until an activity is over.
Next I would say to help create a better attention span, there should be a limited amount of toys available in one space. I have noticed that in "play rooms" that are packed with toys, kids tend to run from one toy to another like crazy little people. As soon as they get one thing out and ready to play, they see something else that looks better and on they move. This kind of set up turns a room into a tornado really fast. When kids have to pick toys up before starting something new, they tend to finish what they started so that they do not have to clean something up before they even played with it.
I think Montessori activities promote attention spans and creativity as well.
My final suggestion would be having them sit in church without any toys or books. This discipline absolutely has been invaluable to my children.
All of these suggestions have multiple benefits and have truly helped our growing family.
3 comments:
so what about child temperment? does that factor in when training them? where do we allow for this and draw the line bt brainwashing and allowing kids be who they are. like the child that doesnt sit still for a story even though youve read to them since before birth. etc. sometimes they resist training. yes? and its not all in our control? i wish all the training were the same for all kids but certainly there would be a book written. and our kids would all behave all the time. and what about the kids who are rarely picked up and responded to? sit in front of the tv alot, never read to etc. they are very well behaved??? i guess im just wondering where we draw the line so our kids arent little robots.
I'm sorry Tammy, I guess I wasn't clear on the intention of my post. One of the reasons I keep my blog is sort of like a scrapbook for me so that I remember how I did things when my children were at different ages. I often wonder if my mom recalls things accurately. :) Also, this particular type of post is out there for anyone looking for things to try with their kids when looking toward a particular goal.
I don't think this is a required formula, but rather just some methods that work well for our family. If I do not follow one or more of my own suggestions then my kids tend to struggle in different areas. If I stray from what works for us, I end up paying the consequences that naturally follow (i.e. overly tired kids with shorter attention spans.) This is where it is hard to say where genetics and environment come into play since we are raising our own genetic offspring. Everyone tends to produce children like themselves both because of the genetics and because of how they choose to raise them.
Tammy, one thing I love about our friendship is that we are so different and yet have so much in common. The most important thing is that we both love our children and do what we think is best for them.
Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." I hope I am not making robots, but I do hope that I am following this Proverb in showing them the way to live so that when they grow up they will be holy men and women who love and serve the Lord.
oh kel i was sincerely asking how to do it. i didnt mean personally i mean us, as parents. i asked the same of the parents across the street (another family i look up to for advice and ideas like i do you guys)about discipline and training them up. bc i find myself wondering really wondering how to do this (big picture). i just reread my post and it sounded a bit rough. i really was just thinking on paper. im sorry about that. i really just wonder if you think about this. i see so many different parenting styles and even just my very own differ with each child bc my kids are so very different. and how can i do with without taking away their true tendencies and possibly squashing something innate in them. or brainwashing them so they have a hard time not feeling anxious just bc im trying to have them behave and follow the path ive chosen. i know the path ive chosen for them isnt immoral or bad by any means but i question the daily steps sometimes. is this for me/others? or for them?
i dont think we are that different! truthfully, not sure weve ever spent enough time around each other to settle on that. but i do know what your blog is about. and i thank you for letting me read it. payton loves to look at it sometimes before bed and while im making dinner. shes excited to know when the baby gets here! she still remembers h and we still have her pic in p's room. i like to stay on my toes and listen up to all kinds of parents, not just ppl like me. i can always count on you to have it written down and i appreciate it! best of luck this month! next thursday is a great day to birth :) do you have a midwife?
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